apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
he's gonorrhea incarnate
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
