I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
