awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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