I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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