Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize