AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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