i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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