why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
