In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm just crazy horny about you
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
