nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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