all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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