I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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