I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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