Christians are straight up FREAKS
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
