at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize