You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize