I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
