Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm like, not good at living.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
