Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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