Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
