Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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