Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
The Olympian is in my bed
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
