If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize