i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
No subtext here. People are naked.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
