i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
