When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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