Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
