Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
