I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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