both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize