Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
