Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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