So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
