can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
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