id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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