I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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