it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
