I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
