could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
