We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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