I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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