He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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