his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
