Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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