im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
