Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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