He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
