I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
