Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
