I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
