im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize