She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
