I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
