If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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