Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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