watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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