I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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