I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
