Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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