reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
