i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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