They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
