Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
