hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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