Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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